Nevermind Secession: Cut Texas Loose
The U.S. doesn’t need Texass and would be better off without their corrupt, godawful theocratic government. Secession is to Texass what apple pie is to Real America, but sadly, they have no apparatus to secede. We need to kick them out. It’ll be a painful breakup for millions of people. But it’s for the best. And long overdue. The brightest day in American history (other than June 19, 1865) will be the day when Real America decides to cut Texas loose. Good riddance. Many believe that Real America won’t because the Texass economy is yugely enormous. But you know what? They can just keep everything. The other 49 states will still compose the largest economy in the world.
The Lone Brain Cell State can keep their Texas Taliban theocracy and their cartoonishly corrupt politicians like Attorney General [lol] Ken Paxton. They can keep their elitist oligarchs like Christofascist Tim Dunn, pollution-loving Javaid Anwar, and the idiot savant Elon Musk (who looks even stupider in a cowboy hat than regular Texans do). They can keep their dumb-as-rocks celebrities like Joe Rogan and Gina Carano (Ted Cruz suggested that if Texass secedes from the Union, Joe Rogan might be their president; it’s difficult to think of anyone more fitting).
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TEXIT: Because Texans Hate The Constitution
The secessionist group who brought TEXIT* into the mainstream is the Texass Nationalist Movement. Their website reveals that the movement is rife with childish rhetoric reminiscent of a high school student’s presentation on how to write generic populist propaganda that means nothing. The site is hilarious in so many ways, including the insufferable Texan habit of supposing that Texass is special because it has a unique history and culture — just like every other state / province on the planet.
Leaders of Texass have proven incapable of adhering to the U.S. Constitution. Now they are pushing for some kind of cold civil war, with the latest salvo being a middle finger to SCOTUS. Four of the Justices are fine with Texass ignoring SCOTUS, but they should be careful what they wish for: this means that blue states in Real America (let’s start with California) are now free to ignore SCOTUS too. Let’s get this ball rolling.
* You know, like BREXIT, because that has been such a stellar success for Britons.